Friday, November 28, 2008

exactly what am I thankful for?

Exactly what am I thankful for? Is there a way to quantify that? I mean, exactly where does one start?
I could start with that I am alive.
That my body works, my fingers and toes and legs arms brain olfactory nerves, ya know, my body.
I'm thankful for my family. My man, my rock-solid gorgeous TCB-ing man. My daughter who amazes me daily with her wisdom, her beauty and her absolute love of life. My son, oh my sweet son who is unfolding like a flower or a sleeping tyrannosaurus rex, we'll see which he awakes to be tomorrow because it is ever evolving. From there, my family of origin who I would pick over and over and over to revisit this life this world this experience with because my dad, my mom, my brothers - the one we lost, the one we found, and the one who's been next to me all along, and my sister are unarguably the most loving amazing hilarious cool and wonderful people on the planet.
I am thankful that I live here, in this house, on this street, in this city, in this country. There, I said it. I have lived in another country, I have visited a few other countries and while each place had its charms and loveliness, there is no other country on this planet like the good ole U.S of A. (I am not jingoistic, just grateful that I do live here.)
I'm thankful for morning snuggles with my babes, cozy in our big bed with the light streaming in and blue sky above through the window and I am extra thankful for those special mornings when I awake first, Augustus, me, Magdalena, then Ethan, all still in bed, all still asleep around me, I hear their breath, feel their closeness, and I feel safe, like there is nothing bad or scary in the world. Oh how I give thanks for those mornings.
I am thankful for my sparkly clean bathroom and new shower curtain.
I am thankful for the new stereo in the Mitsu that my darling husband ordered for me and my bad-*ss BIL put in for me (thanks Neil!).
I am thankful for our family traditions, the way we laugh, Anthony's movie lines, and that our family is growing.
I am so thankful for all my Cuban primos, they keep me grounded in history and family and who we are.
I am thankful for my husband who reminds me that I am also Puerto Rican, German, some other northern and central European and more so stand proud.
I am thankful that there are people in my life who remind me to have some gratitude.
I am so ever so thankful for the people in my life who share their lives with me, us, who let me in enough to witness their quirks or defects or worst sides so that I know that I am not alone, that I am not so awful, and that it is human to be human.
I am thankful for my Georgia cousins and auntie who have more love than they know what to do with and have always loved me, through thick and thin.

I am thankful for moments of Grace, those seemingly split-second moments when my mind cracks open and I can see, if only for that moment, that my life is lived in perfection, not a cosmic eyelash out of place, that God's got it baby, that it is all alright, that we are not going to be ok, but we are all ok right now.
I am so thankful for those moments those sand-slipping-through-my-fingers moments because as fleeting as they are, when I realize total surrender to what is and realize the beauty and love of the life that surrounds me, I am at peace, I understand serenity, and even as the moment fades I am left with a knowledge and understanding of God, perfection, unconditional love and true pure beauty.

That is exactly what I am thankful for, that and oh so much more.


  1. Yes, those moments most of all. Fleeting, beautiful moments. I love your wisdom and your beautiful writing.